Two Birds…One Stone

…and as someone who is not too fond of birds I am happy to get rid of 2 using only one stone…(mean I know but birds kinda freak me out). 
I DIGRESS…So as I was writing this I had a little déjà vu action going on…than I realized that I actually used a similar title for another blog I wrote and began that entry almost the same way.  Have I really gone full circle…if I didn’t have the baby would I have anything new to say?
 This past weekend we went to Hong Kong for Zack’s doctor’s appointment and turned it into Adam’s birthday trip.  I didn’t feel too bad about jipping Adam on a birthday trip since I let him buy a blue ray disk player for his birthday (when I say that I mean I would have picked out the cheapest lowest grade one because I hate spending money on complicated technology…especially since buying one thing means you have to buy 10 more things to make the first thing work to its full potential and before you buy your 10 new things there is a better, newer cheaper version of the first thing you bought…Ironically we needed to get this blue ray player because we just bought a home server and the only way we can watch downloaded movies and TV shows is through our laptops, so now we need this blue ray player because it has wireless capabilities and can play things from the server onto the TV…I don’t know…I just know that I probably won’t be able to watch TV during the day without calling Adam).
We left Sat. morning for Zack’s 12:00 appointment…we were not too excited about this one because he was getting his first set of immunizations since the ones he got at the hospital right after he was born.  He didn’t cry at all last time, but he screamed when they took blood at his 10 day appointment.  This time they gave him 8 vaccinations in 2 shots and one orally.  I held him on my lap (he likes sitting like a big boy) and held his arms in.  He was taking in the new environment and flirting with the pretty nurses.  He drank the oral medication like a champ and all of a sudden it went from looking around the room to mouth wide open but nothing coming out and whole body turning bright red…this means big scream.  I was able to feed him to calm him down.  Other than that his appointment went well!  He is now 11 lb’s 5 oz (25^th percentile).

Throwing in the towel/Giving up/Choosing my battle…whatever you want to call it

I made a decision for myself a couple weeks ago.  I hate the fact that I am giving up but it is such a relief.  I am giving up trying to nurse.  Zach has maybe nursed 10 times since the day he was born, half of those times were only for a few min before he realized what was happening and would scream again.  I would say he has only truly nursed (correct latch, emptied the breast, felt satisfied after) 2 times total!  After his one month appointment we met with another lactation consultant, I forced Zach on the breast for the next week.  During that time I continued to pump (to have an emergency bottle for when things went pear shaped, and so that I could lure him onto the breast).  Since I didn’t empty the breasts when I pumped (I wanted them to have enough any time he wanted to eat) and he still refused, my milk supply went way down.  I spent the next few days pumping every hour during the day and every 3 hours at night (even if he didn’t wake up) just to get my supply back up, I drank mother’s milk tea, hoppy beer and lots of water, I made myself sleep between pumps, and started taking Fenugreek tablets (a herbal supplement).  While I tried to get mu supply back up I stopped trying to nurse.  I figured the important thing was to make the amount of milk he needs each day if not more (to prepare for growth spurts). 
…ANYWAY a couple weeks ago I gave myself 2 weeks of trying to get Z to nurse before I would embrace the pump and give up.  Adam supported me by saying once it gets to be frustrating for you then we need to stop.  I have been surprisingly calm and patient (defiantly a little gift from the lord since those are not typical characteristics of me with a long term problem like this).
Today I am officially giving up.  It brings up a ton of emotions, sadness (since I have totally given up hope), relief (I no longer will make my son scream bloody murder when he is perfectly happy eating any other way), failure (how could I not do something that is supposed to be natural, people are also very critical about feeding babies…clearly the people a la leche league didn’t have children who refused nursing from day 1, it made me feel horriable when people said that Z had nipple confusion because I gave him the bottle, it wasn’t nipple confusion because he refused to feed long before I started the bottle or giving him a pacifier), success (I made it this long, my lactation consultants, yes I have 2, the pediatrician, my mother, my friends, my husband etc…have all encouraged me, and have stated how difficult it must be…I love that people like to fill me up rather than give advice).
Up until now Z has maybe nursed 10 times total, most of those being a couple min before he realized what was going on and began to scream.  Out of those 10 times only once has he emptied a breast, felt satisfied afterward and latched correctly. 
In the past week he decided he didn’t mind nursing from the right breast (wouldn’t even take the left with a football hold).  Still it was touch and go…mostly refusing.  Two months may not seem like a long enough time to try something before giving up but imagine at least 10 times per day of trying since the day he was born…minus the evening feeds so like 8 times per day (I was not about to wake up the baby by making him scream in the middle of the night).  Since March 27 (we didn’t try too hard the first day of his life).  That is almost 500 times…and I think that is acceptable. 
So, thank you to all you people who I e-mail to ask for advice or just to vent, thank you for encouraging me!
The doctors and lactation consultants told me that nursing wasn’t something I could make happen, I needed Z to do most of the work and be ready.  Well Z made the decision from day one and stuck to it no matter what (hmmmm kinda sounds like something I would do).  So here I am choosing to not fight this battle.
I am now happy to be a full time pumping mother…some positives about pumping:
1)     Much faster than nursing
2)     I can pump and go without having to discreetly nurse in public
3)     I have a manual pump with can go with me on day trips so I can pump in the bathroom and feed my baby fresh milk
4)     Adam can do the 6:00 am feed before he gets ready for work, giving me a couple hours of shut eye and him a chance to cuddle with Z before heading off to work. 
5)     I can pump extra on days I am home all day and I can skip a pump on days when I am out…if I am usually pumping every couple hours but skip one I am usually able to pump double the next time.
6)     If I need more milk I can add an extra pumping session to the evenings and in a couple days my supply is higher. 
7)     He eats quickly so my evening feeds last about 30 min, (changing the diaper, feeding, putting him down, pumping, going back to bed)

2 Months

I have been really bad about blogging but Zachary and I have been pretty busy!
Zack has gotten really big, in fact we are out of the newborn size footie pjamas and the newborn diapers.  He is almost too long for his footie pj’s but barely fills them out.  Good thing we are in summer so I don’t have to worry about finding long skinny pants for a baby! 
According to a book I read Zack falls into the category of an “active baby”.  He meets every requirement (doesn’t sleep as much, when laying on his back kicks and swings his arms…even in his sleep, he tries really hard to roll over and I expect it to happen any day now, and he isn’t an easy baby to cuddle with while he is awake…it would be like trying to hold onto a new puppy).  Thankfully it was recommended to us that we not even bother swaddle, we hadn’t done it since we left Hong Kong because he would either kick it off or be so frustrated that he wouldn’t sleep.  Swaddling is one of those things that people swear by, however it didn’t work for us.  He is getting really strong and if we aren’t careful he has the ability to throw himself out of our arms.  The not napping part has been difficult for me because there are lots of things I need to do around the house (one being to wash bottles…since he also refuses to nurse)…sidenote…how is it that my baby hates doing 2 of the 3 things babies are supposed to do, eat and sleep, at least he has good poops!
My baby cracks me up…he does everything he can to prevent us from putting on his diaper or clothes (back to the active part), he will lock his knees then kick then lock etc…  My favorite thing that he does (which he has done since birth) is lifts at the hips so his legs are straight in the air when he passes gas (even in his sleep).  We can’t lay down with him without him squirming himself to our necks and getting stuck.  He usually grunts for a while trying to figure out how to get himself out of the situation before crying for help. 
We have tried many times to catch him smiling on camera (or doing the silly things he does) however it’s like he has an off switch that only works when we pull out a camera…the same thing happened when he was in the belly and we tried to catch video of my belly bouncing.
Everyone told us that the first few months our baby will just be a lump that eats sleeps and poops, once they get to be 4 or 5 months they start showing their personality…however little Z has been far from a lump.  He has been doing all the things I mentioned since the day he was born; however it gets to be more and more intense each day…Adam and I will surely have our hands full!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

…and I don’t mean the little one.  Adam is 29 years old today (for those of you that haven’t realized 29 is one away from 30).  For his last year as 20 something we aren’t doing anything as cool as we did last year.  I love Macau but I draw the line at bringing my baby to a casino.  We already had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for Zachary so we are making a weekend of it in Hong Kong.  Today Zack and I are taking Adam some brownies for lunch and we are taking him to dinner.  If all goes as planned this will be our last birthday celebration in China!

Goodbye Mommy!

My mom got back to North Carolina safe and sound.  It was strange to talk to her on Skype, once she came to Huizhou it seemed like she has always been around.  I know it was frustrating for her but I don’t like people to help me (sound like anyone…hmmmm), and the things she could help me with I really wanted to (since I can’t nurse I pump and use a bottle and would like to feed him the bottle myself…it’s like my reward for keeping up with the pumping even though it isn’t fun).  She was a great help in being supportive of me during the day, when Z was screaming because I tried to nurse then had to pump and give him a bottle I needed someone to say that I was doing a great job (I would have totally had some breakdowns…I mean what baby hates to be fed by his mother). 
It was really nice to have some family around and I can’t wait to introduce Zachary to everyone else.

One Month Party

A Chinese custom is that a new mother and her new baby stay in the house for 30 days, the mother stays in bed while her mother or mother in law takes care of the baby.  They have specific foods that they eat and the new mom can’t take a shower or wash her hair unless it is in this special tea mixture.  After the month is over then they invite all their friends out for dinner to celebrate.
I did NOT stay in, I DID take a shower and wash my hair, even though my mom was here I knew if I let her take care of the baby I would miss out on special bonding and I would be in trouble when she left and I didn’t know what I was doing.  Adam’s co-workers asked if we were having a celebration so they could meet the baby.  Since Adam and I love entertaining we threw a 1 month party…American style.  I didn’t want to take everyone out for dinner, first of all it would be super expensive and second I didn’t think a party for my baby should involve keeping him strapped into the stroller or car seat while we all enjoy a nice dinner.  We went the other way and just had snacks and played wii!

Jun and Sylvio with Zack

Adam with Chris and her daughter

We threw the party on May 8^th because my mom and Mrs. Kitchen would be back from Beijing and it would give me a chance to pick up a few things from Hong Kong.  I didn’t realize it was mother’s day until we invited people.  It worked out in our favor because we wanted to invite all our good friends and you know how it is you invite a few people from work and you have to invite more.  We were able to invite everyone but lots of people couldn’t come because it was mother’s day.
We had a great time and everyone was excited to see Zachary…meanwhile someone decided to be awake all morning and stayed asleep through most of his party!

Home Sweet Huizhou!

We got home yesterday and this trip to Huizhou brought back memories of my first trip to Huizhou.  I was pointing out to mom all the things that made me nervous about the choice we made and getting more and more anxious to see the familiar sights of the town I still don’t really understand.  As soon as we walked through the door (after a quick pump of course) I showed Zachary his new home and made him try out all his stuff.  He spent a couple seconds in the crib watching the mobile before moving to the bouncy seat and ending up on the floor with his playmat.  I was excited to feed him using the boppy and so excited to have my sanitizer and more than 2 bottles.  Poor kid didn’t know what to think!  I was worried Zachary wouldn’t want to sleep in his crib (after the problems we had getting him to sleep in his bassinette in Hong Kong) but he loved it!
It’s amazing what a difference a year and a few months make.  Just the feeling driving in was totally opposite of the feeling I had our first trip.  Adam and I have truly made a home here with our friends and Chinese Family.  I can’t wait to show off our little boy!

2 Doctors, a Lactation Consultant, A Passport, a Visa and a whole lot of planning

This past weekend (starting Thursday) was CRAZY!  After we got to the hotel and got ourselves ready to go we went out to eat a quick bite before going to the US consulate.  It didn’t take us very long at the consulate because we just had to pick up the passport. The security guards were wonderful they let me bring his milk in even though you aren’t allowed to bring liquids and on the way out they asked where my husband was…I said I am an American girl and I need NO man to do what I need to do…haha, they laughed but honestly it would make things so much easier if I had someone with me.  Then we took another taxi to the Chinese Visa office.  They weren’t so nice.  I had one half bottle of breast milk (we had a big spill in the hotel because I didn’t put the lid on tight enough…talk about heartbreak!) I had some bottled water and an empty bottle and some emergency formula.  The guards said I could only take one thing (either a half of a feed, an empty bottle or a bottle of water).  I told them that I needed everything for the baby but they didn’t care.  I figured if we went through the breast milk I would come back to the guard stand and trade see if they would allow me to make a formula bottle in front of them.  It took an hour and a half to apply for the visa and thankfully the half bottle was able to tide him over until we left and he even was able to allow me to pump when we got back to the hotel so I didn’t have to use the formula.  After pumping and feeding we were exhausted and it started to rain so I ordered room service, put on the news and uploaded pictures to facebook.
Friday Zach met my friend Judi (he was smitten) for lunch and went to my doctors appointment.  I was hoping that I could get an appointment on Sat. so I didn’t have to take the baby but no such luck, so I crossed my fingers that he wouldn’t begin to cry as my doctor was doing his thing.  It was really fun bringing my baby to the office where I went so often waiting for him, plus all the pregnant ladies looked at him with jealousy and anticipation.  I got to the office 15 min early but I got to the exam room right away…maybe they were also not going to push their luck with a crying baby.  I was anxious about finding out some details of the complications in my pregnancy and delivery.  Basically Dr. Doo told me to be aware and share this information with the next doctor for my next pregnancy, but not to worry about it.  He said that I would most  likely continue to have small babies and beyond that any other problem may or may not happen again.  We got back to the hotel, pumped, fed, changed etc… and headed out to pick up some dinner to take back to the hotel so we could watch the Royal Wedding.  Adam got in at 8:30ish and we went to the hotel lounge which was fully open to have a drink and unwind. 
Saturday the 3 of us went to Zach’s doctor.  He HATES being naked and he has to be to be weighed and that combined with 3 days of being strapped in did him in.  He screamed and kicked while the poor nurse changed his diaper, weighed and measured him.  We calmed him down before the doctor saw him but I could tell he just wanted to stretch and move.  Dr. Chan was very impressed at his weight gain (almost 3 lb’s, he now weighs 8 lb’s 9 oz…a lot more then the 7-7.5 we were hoping) and said it was a compliment to me and my feeding him.  When he heard that Z still was not nursing he made us an appointment with a different lactation consultant.  She was wonderful to see me after her normal office hours.  Adam Z and I went to clean up the hotel room, pump, feed etc... and get some lunch.  After lunch we went to the Lactation Consultant and Zachary nursed for the first time.  She said that sometimes they wake up ready, I had noticed the past day or two that he was rooting a little more and maybe it is just his time.  We aren’t out of the woods yet but it is a major win for Z and I!