Adam and I have made the decisions that are best for us and what we feel will be the best thing for the baby…the biggest decision being if something we decided beforehand doesn’t work, alter as necessary and not stress about it. I am usually a confident person who stands by what she believes and doesn’t let what other people say get in the way of what I feel is right, however mothering issues are tough…there are pros and cons to each decision and people are passionate about their decisions to the point where I wonder if they will think I am a bad mother because I decided something differently. There were days where I felt totally ashamed to answer questions about what we have decided because, they usually start a long discussion and include horror stories or even worse stories of absolute perfection that makes me feel like I can’t possibly live up to that. The rises in hormone levels don’t help!
I don’t really have a choice about working or not…at least in Huizhou. Once we move back I would still like to stay at home and raise our children, Adam is confident that we can handle it financially, however it scares me a little considering we will be jumping from 2 incomes in 2009 to an extra person, and only one income in late 2011. The unknown and inability to budget from the other side of the planet is what scares me most, but deep down I know God will watch out for us and everything will turn out all right.
When people ask if I plan on having a natural childbirth I say “yes…with the help of an epidural”. In my opinion any way the baby needs to enter this world is natural for that baby. I hope to not need to be induced and I hope I don’t need to have a c-section. I have been hearing/reading stories of mothers who were in labor and needed an emergency c-section or never did go into labor and had to be induced. A lot of these women were devastated and felt like failures at the time (later, once they held their babies everything was different) but how awful to feel like a failure so early on in motherhood when all women who sacrifice their body and care for their unborn baby are total rock stars! I have decided to go into my delivery being happy with whatever way Zachary needs to come out.
I do plan on breastfeeding for a long list of reasons, 1) it’s more healthy for the baby, 2) it’s economical and convenient etc… Our situation in China is very different because the formula here isn’t the quality of that in other countries, so that along with the first 2 reasons I listed made our decision for us. HOWEVER I know a few mothers who had difficulty getting enough milk for their baby, they tried everything from changing eating habits to pumping to herbs and teas. I also know people whose milk came in but their babies weren’t growing and needed something more. I am having my mother bring formula from the states just in case something doesn’t work out perfectly. I plan on feeding from the breast most of the time but Adam would like to participate and that requires a bottle every once and a while, plus public feeding can be tricky in China.
The whole idea of c-sleeping scares me…first of all I am not the calmest sleeper and I can see this going one of two ways. 1) I am so scared that I might hurt the baby that I never get any sleep or 2) I roll over or kick and hurt or crush the baby. Plus I don’t want to create habits of sleeping in mommy and daddy’s bed early on.
I have also decided to do a modified on demand schedule for the baby. Feed when he is hungry and let him sleep when he is tired…however if (in the beginning especially) he isn’t feeding the recommended amount of time and isn’t growing properly then I won’t hesitate to feed more. I do feel like schedules are wonderful for children of all ages, so we will have a night time routine to establish night time sleep from daytime sleep. We will try not to do anything too stimulating during the night and I hope we will be able to have daily routines that include going for a walk or going to the store…I hope to go somewhere each day.
Again these plans may all be shot out the window the day Zachary comes into the world and has different needs, but Adam and I will be ok with whatever changes need to be made.
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