Happy 2015

Ahhhh good riddence 2014.  Don't get me wrong something AMAZING happened last year (ahem Stella Grace), but seriously the rest of the year (although I did a lot of learning) was full of unexpected challenges.  I started the year coming to grips with my reality that I wasn't doing well emotionally...I don't know if it was depression or anxiety but I was not me.  The challenges we faced with Hunter without ever finding answers and sleeping 3-4 hours every 24 hours if I didn't spend that time googling why my 1 year old wasn't sleeping...because things didn't magically get better when he turned 1.  I went to therapy and it was all I needed.  She recommended medication but I wanted to try without it and apparently what I needed was someone who would be comfortable listening to me cry and just listen when I told her everything that was going on.  She didn't try to tell me what to do...she just talked me through everything that I had held in for the year...everything from how doctors didn't believe that Hunter had a problem and how well meaning people gave me very unwelcome advice and told stories about their perfect children.  I apologize to everyone who I have advised on any parenting issue...my new comeback when a friend tells me about a problem is "that sucks...I'm so sorry...can I bring you dinner?" unless they specifically ask me for advice.
As soon I started feeling like myself I took a pregnancy test just in case and much to my surprise it was positive.  I always wanted a third but I was totally not ready...we were finally down to two wake up's a night.  It didn't take too long for it to settle in and I started being really excited about having a third boy (because I thought that's all I could have).
In April I break my ankle...major wrench in things.  I couldn't carry Hunter (the runner).  I had dear friends who came to sweap my floor, load my kids in the car, carry Hunter upstairs for nap, bring Zack home from school etc...  We watched a lot of movies and the kids did whatever they wanted, but we survived and I learned that it was OK to ask for help...and that people were happy to help.
In May I found out that my third boy was actually a girl (eeek)...but I am a boy mom!  It took a trip to Target to pick out an outfit and toy for me to get excited and for Adam to start freaking out (a doll...she doesn't need a doll...we got her a pink ladybug...it's a bug...small steps).
I spent June and July in physical therapy, which I both loved and hated.
In August we started looking into Hunter's developmental delays...and they were much worse than I thought and we still have a lot of questions...a lot of scary words were thrown around and lots of tears shed and broken dreams before I realized that he's not even two and he may be a late bloomer but he is picking thing up left and right.  Poor kid has felt sick for his whole life...no wonder he doesn't talk or stack blocks.
In September I started having odd feelings in my heart.  My OB sent me to a cardiologist who ran every heart test he could...apparently all issues were pregnancy related and weren't causing any problems.  A few weeks later I got a call from my dad that I should probably go to Hickory because my super healthy 95 year old Grandma was in the hospital and everything was failing.  In true Alfild fashion her body came back and we went from saying goodbye to trying to figure out how we were going to break it to her that she was actually going to live (when you're 95 and a widow who is basically independent you expect to go to heaven when you're taken to the hospital...and you are ok with it because you had 95 better years than anyone could ever imagine).  And again in true Alfild fashion she prayed to leave the earth peacefully in her sleep...and she did just a short time after her body failed her and then proved to everyone that they should not underestimate what an old body can do.
In October I started having regular contractions without a baby (see my other post)...which is ironic because in both of my other labors I never had regular contractions.  I didn't know I was in labor when my water broke and Hunter was born.
In November things started looking up.  My little star was born and unlike her brothers the timing was perfect logistically and emotionally (after 8 nights of contractions and no baby I was not going to leave the hospital without a baby...what a fun tantrum I would have thrown).  Stella was a bright shining light (her name means star) and brought nothing but happiness for the rest of the year (not even tiredness...she is a gooooooood baby...and super cute to boot).

Like I said I learned a lot...and I love how each event made me stronger and better and turned my life in an unexpected direction...but for 2015 I wish for nothing to happen for my family...I want to look back in 15 years and think "wow...what even happened in 2015?  That was such a boring year."

December Photo Dump

Super Sweet

Played "Where's Hunter" while shopping...exhausting

I still LOVE Stella's room

warm Christmas pj's

EAT HER UP

Hunter and I both had our first case of Strep...it's pretty much the worst

we love quiet preschool mornings

I would look like this after Zack jumped over me

Hunter's first time "holding" Stella (and Zack redressed himself into a Halloween shirt and shorts because Christmas PJ's are apparently not acceptable "stay at home" clothes

so cute

Grandma and Grandpa visiting

I was so disappointed to shop with Stella and not ride the train

the boys

Date night with big boy...we went to see Rudolph

Christmas 2014 The Milton Side

We see Jamie, Katie and Harper maybe once a year.

We were very happy that we got to spend Christmas with them and the rest of the Milton Clan...

It was so nice having everyone come to us so that the littles were able to get in good naps and play...

Christmas 2014 The Marum Side

We always love visits from Dumma and Drandpa, Aunt Beffany and Ukle Dot.  We were lucky enough to have Great Grandma Dalland join us in Cary for the first time.

We had a blast...

played a little...

ate and drank a little...

and of coarse there were more presents...

Christmas Morning

...started a lot earlier than we thought or hoped.

Apparently Zack heard the reindeer on the roof at 3:30 am.  I put him back to bed but he never fell asleep, thankfully he waited until 4:20 to wake a very grumpy Hunter.

We opened presents from Santa and Adam and I took turn taking naps and playing with Zack.  Hunter chose to go back to sleep without opening any presents (he opened them later).

a little disappointed that all Santa brought was a sippy cup

Christmas Eve 2014

It's been our tradition that we go out for breakfast on Christmas Eve...but it was rainy...and cold...and Hunter can't eat dairy...and we have a newborn.  We stayed home and Adam got take out McDonalds breakfast.

Adam goes to work every year and Zack and I do some fun Christmas things.

Hunter dumped out the m&m's and sat on them...I'm sure he doesn't know they are food

I love our church on a normal day and I LOVE LOVE the Christmas service.  I totally appreciate that it's a family service and we get to celebrate the birth of our savior with our children, I don't enjoy that part yet.  We got a very special gift and a friend who was volunteering as a greeter took Hunter to the back to play.  As much as we had a blast running around looking cute it would not have been fun trying to get him to sit (no amount of special treats would help).  Zack is almost to the point where he can get through half before he checks out.  Even with the fast pace fun service little boys can't sit for an hour (maybe Stella will be different?)

After Church we came home and took the tortuously adorable photo of the kids in front of the tree that we are supposed to take but never works out.

Then we opened "PRESNENTS" (as Zack would say).  Zack my enthusiastic optimest had a blast, Hunter my independant loner was totally satisfied walking around with his two cars (that he already owned) and was annoyed that we tried to make him open more toys (the horror), and Stella my good sleeper...slept the whole time.

this was one of my presents

1 Month Old

When I said she was perfect I meant it...

She is a total by the book baby...

eats when and the amount she is "supposed" to eat...

sleeps the number of hours she is "supposed" to sleep (I totally thought that was a myth)...

she has the most heart melting cuddles...

and the cutest little movements...

sweet Stella