Great Mothers and Fathers

Lately I have really been open in this blog and I don’t know if my hormones are making me more passionate or what but here we go with another one!

I am a teacher, I know it’s different then being a mother but I had the opportunity to be on the outside looking in to families of all shapes and sizes.  I was able to see what parents did and how their children reacted both in their presence and when their parent wasn’t around.  Granted I didn’t have them 24/7 but I still think my career choice gave me an opportunity to steal great ideas and keep bad ideas in mind (we teachers like to steal the great ideas). 

Something I learned about great parents is they can surprise you.  I had a great mother who was 16 when her daughter was born.  She called me at least 3 times a week to see how her little girl was doing in my class.  She would randomly stop by school to meet with me.  A lot of times the secretary would call down to my room to warn me, and a couple times they made me come to the office to talk to her because she was kind of a scary looking lady and they didn’t want to put me in a bad situation.  She had another baby with a different father, neither of the fathers were in the picture.  She chose to work the night shift at Wal-mart so she could be there during the day for the baby and meet her 1^st grader when she got home from school.  Her mother kept the kids overnight.  Even though the little girl was a trouble maker, I knew this mother was doing the best she could with what she had.  She would start every conversation with me saying that she trusted me and she knew that her and I were on the same team.  She knew that we both had the same goal…to do what was best for her daughter.  Her little girl came to school clean, fed, happy and on time.  I don’t know much about this family but I do know that this was a great mother.

Something teaching has taught me is how rare it is to find an involved father.  Some fathers would show up at conferences but they rarely said much or would be offended if their child was struggling with anything.  I have seen some really great fathers, but one that I will always remember is a father who was divorced from the little boys mother.  I credit both parents in keeping up communication with each other when it came to their children.  I consider this a great father because he showed up.  He came to lunch almost once a week…and although I dreaded those days because his already overly excited child would go totally crazy after he left (I mean what 5 year old wouldn’t be excited to see their father) I knew how important it was for both of them to have these lunches.  Dad wasn’t the best disciplinarian but he was there…being present is easy, and anyone can find time.  My favorite quite from Modern Family was when Jay said “98% of being a dad is just showing up”.  Now I am not saying that’s all that is required of fathers but it sure does help.

I tried to make it a point to credit the parents when I had conferences with them.  I had a few mothers in tears when I would tell them thank you for raising such a polite child, or when I talk about how I appreciate the personality they have nurtured in their child.  I have met some really crappy parents, I even considered kidnapping…honestly some of the parents would have cared, but I have met some really great parents and the one thing they have in common is they keep the best interest of their family in decisions they make and they enjoy their children (enjoying is not the same as love). 

My goal as a parent is to always make decisions based on what is best for Adam and I and our children. My goal is to work as a team with Adam and for that matter the children.  My goal is to teach them to be responsible, to be confident in themselves, and to know that Adam and I will always be there for them.  My goal is to raise my little boy to become a great man.  My mother always says parenting is one of the only jobs where if you do it right you make yourself obsolete.  Well sorry to say mom and dad I still want and need you in my life, but thank you for raising me to not totally depend on you.

Something lately that has been upsetting for me is people asking me about my plans.  Do I plan on getting an epidural or having the baby naturally?  Do I plan on breast feeding or using formula?  Do I plan on using cloth or disposable diapers? Not that I don’t want to answer but I am afraid to say the wrong thing to someone who is passionate about the other choice.

Well first of all giving birth is a natural thing no matter what form of pain relief you have, second of all I have done research on everything and there are articles and statistics that go any number of different ways.  There are arguments for or against EVERYTHING having to do with raising children.  Again it’s probably the hormones or the fact that I will soon be responsible for another life but I am truly afraid of answering questions because I don’t want to be judged based on decisions I make.  Honestly I have never been a parent before but I do know that different things work or don’t work with different people.  I am not ruling out an epidural, after reading up I may do it for Adam’s sake more than for my own.  They say (I don’t know who exactly…but it makes sense) that women forget the pain of childbirth but men never forget the screams coming out of their wives or the knowledge that they can’t do anything to stop the pain.  I plan on breast feeding, I would plan on it no matter where I live but I don’t want to use formula from China (I can’t read the ingredients).  What if for some reason my milk doesn’t come in?  I am not going to let my baby starve because I am too proud to use formula (I have people bringing some American stuff just in case).  I may even supplement with formula after a month.  Adam has also expressed interest in helping to feed the baby so I am happy to pump and let him have the bonding experience.  Poor guy missed out on bonding with our boy for these months before he is born the way I did...I would hate to take feeding as well.  I could probably technically use cloth diapers but it takes forever for things to dry (even with the dryer) and I would rather hang with my boys then do laundry all day long.  I respect any decision a mother and or a father makes for their family as long as it is in the best interest of the child and of their marriage/relationship. I know no one else would ridicule me for using disposable diapers or getting the epidural or allowing my baby to be bottle fed (even just once a day), but people are so passionate one way or another that the people pleaser in me is really scared to discuss our decisions.  In the end none of these things really matter, there are plenty of women who give birth using or not using pain relief that have happy healthy babies.  There are millions of children who are healthy weather their mother chose to breast feed or formula feed.  There are many reasons for and against using cloth or a disposable diaper…neither one is wrong. 

China vs. USA…which is a better place to give birth?

It is after midnight right now and I am up because I have baby on the brain.  Adam and I went to Ikea yesterday to pick up a few baby things and as long as we were in Shenzhen we decided to go out of our way by about 30 min just for some Mexican food and Duncan Donuts.  At the Mexican restaurant there were 2 couples with babies having dinner. Since we had been working on our emergency plan (more on that later) I decided to rudely interrupt their dinner and ask them where they delivered (I know…not the best dinner conversation).  One of the ladies delivered in Hong Kong in the same hospital I plan on delivering and the other lady delivered in Shenzhen in a Chinese hospital (SCORE!!!).  Within 30 seconds I had their contact information and they had mine.  I was offered a place to stay if I needed it and they both offered to come see me in the hospital and bring me food or whatever I may need.  I know that any of my friends back in the US would do the same for me but how many people would offer a complete stranger a room in their house?  This is my absolute favorite thing about living overseas, especially in a place like China.  When you see another foreigner you know what it is like to go from a cushy life in the States to living in a place where the majority of people can’t speak to you and stare at you as if you were an alien, a place where you can’t find things that are familiar to you, and a place that is far from your family and close friends.  Strangers become your family instantly.  Even though my emergency plan is a little (ok a LOT) more complex then say if I lived a mile from the hospital and had neighbors I could call to help me get to the hospital, I have a support system made up of people from all over the world who are willing and ready to do whatever they can to be there for me…not just help but really be there.  In fact not only do I have some “stranger friends, who are like family” in Shenzhen but I have a support team in Hong Kong ready to meet me at the hospital if Adam is in Huizhou.  How many people do you know that have met you once or twice are willing to travel an hour to be your birthing coach?  I also know that if I happen to be in labor at the same time my mom’s plane lands (by the way she is coming in the beginning of April) I know I can ask my Hong Kong ladies to meet her at the airport and take her to the hospital.  I know that my trip won’t be the easiest especially if Zachary decides to come before I move to Hong Kong (but he and I have discussed this in great detail and he won’t dare come before my 36^th week). 

I have written in great detail how wonderful it is that I am pregnant and not working.  I so would have been fired with good reason for my inability to do my job.  God knew what he was doing when he allowed me to become pregnant while we were here.  I am so blessed that I was unable to find a job and even more blessed that because of the benefits we have from Adam’s company I don’t need to bring home any money.  Not only that but I am able to afford to have someone come and help with the chores a couple days a week…and to overpay her, because honestly she has been a lifesaver during pregnancy and before I became pregnant she helped scrub the black off my floor and the oil off everything in my kitchen (the old apartment).  I can also afford (which I haven’t decided yet) to have more help around the house after the baby is born.  My freezer can’t fit pre-made meals; our grocery store doesn’t stock anything that makes it easy to cook a decent meal (no frozen lasagna, no hamburger helper…not even boneless chicken breast or any decent form of beef).  My friends don’t have ovens where they can cook a meal and bring it to us.  So I may have someone come and help with laundry and cooking after the baby comes.  I would much rather have quality time with my little boy then put him in the bouncy seat while I try to make a decent meal (which will be necessary due to breast feeding). 

So back to comparing this experience to the experience I would have in the states…incomparable.  Not easier, not more difficult…just different.

“It”s China”

Basically lots of things happen here that seem crazy to foreigners like ourselves…our response is always “well it’s China”.  The repairman came to fix our water pipe with only a hammer in a grocery bag…it’s China.  They serve fajitas at the German restaurant...well it’s china (see not all crazy things are bad).  A person can get frustrated very easily if they let the little things bother them (I know this is true no matter where you live but more so in my country).  I choose to turn it into a funny story…I have to admit sometimes I start out frustrated, but after we laugh…sometimes at how frustrated we were!

Today I had an “it’s China” day even though I basically spent all day in the apartment.  My plan was to start on washing all things baby, I needed to run to the ATM and exchange security cards to get into our apartment building.  My cleaner was coming so I like to be out of the house when she comes, so I figured I would treat myself to a lunch or snack out (depending on when she came) and run my errands there.  After work Adam and I were going to meet some friends at the Starbucks that was opening that day…the very first Starbucks in Huizhou!

I woke up and for the second day in a row our internet wasn’t working…yes I said second day.  I didn’t think of it the first day because that happens…we randomly lose internet…hey it’s China.  However this is the first time we have lost it for a full day and it was still not working the next day.  Two thoughts came to mind…first thought: Maybe the internet shuts down for Chinese New Year; second thought: maybe we signed up for a limited plan that only works on certain days.  Odd thoughts but possible in China.  I called Adam to see if he could have his co-worker call the company to see what the problem is.  He called me back to say that there would be a worker coming at noon to see if it is a problem with our router, or their network.  I don’t know much about how the internet works but I feel like if it was a network problem that lasted over 24 hours they would know about it.  The internet guy didn’t come until 3:30 and I had the secretary at Adam’s office on the phone to help with translations.  She said there was a problem with the money and he would maybe send someone later to look at the internet.  I called Adam back before I let the internet guy leave (it’s amazing how scared workers are of a foreign lady) he had his coworker call the company again and check what the issue was with the 1 year subscription we paid in cash and have a receipt for was.  The problem was they hadn’t imputed that we had paid into our account information so they shut off the service because we didn’t pay.  So why couldn’t they look up our information when we called in the first place?  Why did I have to wait in the apartment all day for their company “engineer” to come, try to fix and call the company only to find out the issue?  Why when I showed him the receipt could they not automatically fix the problem?  Why did Adam’s co-worker have to call and yell at someone in order for the service to be turned back on?

MEANWHILE, the cleaner was there trying to do her job, I told her using my acting skills not to bother with the living room since I was drying baby clothes on every piece of furniture and the internet guy was hanging out waiting for instructions.  Once the internet guy left I ran out for about 20 min. to go to the ATM and exchange the cards (they have a new security system).  The cards wouldn’t be ready until the next day which isn’t a problem for Adam and I because we are foreigners and they let us in anywhere no matter what.  When I came back to the apartment the cleaner was locked out on the balcony.  We realized the day we moved in when the movers were locked out there that there was no way to get back in if you accidently close the doors.  Why isn’t there some handle on the outside so you can get back in?  What is going to happen when I do a load of laundry and close the door to keep the heat/ac on and I lock myself outside with the baby inside?

LATER, we went to dinner and Starbucks with our friends only the Starbucks hadn’t actually opened yet.  We weren’t actually surprised, in fact I am still not quite confident it will ever open up even though the sign is up the cups are set up and the furniture is laid out.  Why is it that our Chinese friend who organized this gathering didn’t know that it hadn’t opened?  Why doesn’t anyone know when it will open (I heard 2 weeks or April)?  Why doesn’t anyone know why it isn’t open (I heard it was a licensing issue, or lack of approval from the fire department)?

31 Weeks

It’s appropriate that I am up before sunrise right now writing this because it seems to be my new ruitine.  I wake up around 4:00 am for my first breakfast.  I have tried sleeping through it but that just makes everything worse.  I get up eat something, check facebook (it’s 3 in the afternoon back in NC) and watch an episode or two from our alarmingly huge collection of tv shows.  I go back to bed and “nap” (is it called a nap if it’s 6:00 am?) for a few more hours.  I have been so tired lately that when I wake up for good I have to lay in bed for a while (again…it’s great to have such a huge tv show collection) before eating breakfast and moving my groggy self to the sofa for the remainder of my “wake up” time.  I usually feel awake just in time for lunch.  The good news is I can usually go go go for the rest of the day…well at least until 8:00 pm.  Zachary wakes up around 11 for kickboxing so I try to fall asleep before then.

The words of the week are swollen and sore.  Everything is either swollen, sore or both.  I am really looking pregnant all over…I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I am usually like “oh wow…I am really pregnant” followed by panic then checking my list to be sure I really do have time to get things done before moving to HK.  My toes look like mini hotdogs, my ankles hate socks (which are necessary with ceramic flooring in the winter), I am getting a double chin and chipmunk cheeks, my maternity panel on my pants (which when I started wearing them rolled down from right under my bra) roll down from just around my belly button.  My back hurts all the time (I am carrying very low and way out front), and it takes me twice as long to get anywhere.  I do love that I don’t have to point to my belly for people to know that I need a seat on the train…and it is hilarious catching people stare at me.  I usually get the “OMG it’s a foreigner” look now I get that look combined with the once over, double check then a stop in their tracks turn around.  I think I confuse the ladies here by wearing maternity jeans; at this point Chinese pregnant women wear smocks and leggings (circa 1950) and are amazed when I show them my stretchy panel…and yeah I show them!

My favorite part of the week has been sorting through the baby things which can now be laid out in his room.  I washed (and dried in my new dryer) all the baby clothes.  I have to say I love that baby clothing companies make an effort to make the already cute baby clothes/socks/hats etc, look even cuter on the rack using double stick tape and an unreal amount of plastic tag holders, but it took over an hour to cut through everything.  Since I can only dry a few things at a time and it takes a couple hours I restlessly sat by the balcony waiting for the moment when I could make a switch from hanging on the rack or laying across a sofa or table or one of the many coat racks in our place to the dryer for the final fluff and dry.  Adam came home to baby clothes all over the living room and said “I didn’t know we were having 8 babies”…meanwhile I know that I am way under what most people have, we only have things from 0 – 9 months and it’s actually just under the recommended amount I have found on most websites.  I just google “What does a baby REALLY need the first few months” and pretty much stick to the lists. 

*****Cool Week 31 Fact: The baby is apparently headed for a major growth spurt and should be keeping me up at night flipping and kicking.  Zachary however isn’t flipping so much anymore…actually I haven’t felt him flip for a few weeks now.  I guess that means he is running out of room because he for sure kicks and tries to flip (now that totally knocks the wind out of me).  I had my growth spurt over the last couple weeks so I guess now it’s Zachary’s turn!

I am officially the WORST pregnant Chinese lady EVER!!!!

China is a country with a very rich history and the people here take a lot of stock in tradition.  There are a ton of rules you have to follow as a pregnant lady.  I think I have broken most of them, and plan on breaking the others over the next few months. 

They have some old wives tales that I don’t think are followed as strictly but I thought they were worth mentioning. 

1)     If you eat watermelon then your baby will have a big head.

2)     If you eat bananas the baby will slip right out of you.

3)     If you rub your belly then you are spoiling the baby.

4)     Don’t use sharp products (scissors/knives) or your baby will have a cleft lip.

Bananas and watermelon were among the few things I was able to eat in the beginning of pregnancy, and I am a total belly rubber, and don’t take away my scissors…plus how am I supposed to cut my watermelon if I can’t use a knife.
Here are some of the other “rules” that are taken more seriously:

1)     Pregnancy is considered a “hot” condition so only cold foods should be consumed…not cold in temperature but foods considered to be “cold”.  Fried foods are considered “hot” or “heatie” and so are some fruits.  You can’t eat anything spicy or “heatie”.  Honestly I still don’t understand what is considered “heatie”.

2)     Spouse is not present during delivery, it isn’t his job…Adam will so be there at my beck and call!

3)     The placenta is buried somewhere of significance and can be used to create medicines throughout your child’s life…not happening with me.

4)     A necklace is put around the baby’s neck before the cord is cut to bring life to the necklace and away from the cord…I don’t think putting something around a neck of an infant is a great idea.

5)     Before giving birth the mother doesn’t go out for the last 2 months of pregnancy…first of all it sounds like torture, second of all I am moving to HK.

6)     Don’t change beds while pregnant or you will upset the baby…well we moved and so far so good, never mind the hotel beds we have stayed in.

7)     After baby is born you can’t leave your house, wash your hair and you must stick to a special diet for 30 days…talk about going crazy…besides we will be moving back across the border during that month.

8)     Babies are left on their back most of the time to create a flat head which is considered beautiful…I don’t think I want my baby to have a flat head.

Here are a couple things that I have noticed from my year in China:

1)     The pregnant women here don’t wear pants; they sometimes wear leggings but usually a mumu style dress.  I have gotten a lot of second looks wearing jeans…is that girl just fat?  They are amazed at the stretchy panel.

2)     They sell girdles in the baby supply areas…you must wear this to get your stomach back to normal for your husband.

3)     People don’t touch you when you are pregnant, no one touches your belly, no one will wash your hair, and they won’t polish your fingernails, no massages etc…

29 Weeks

This week the goal was to eat a ton and gain weight…instead I came down with a horrible cold and over the weekend developed a fever, meaning I spent most of the time sleeping and not eating.  However I have decided (for the second time this pregnancy) not to stress about weight gain.  The day after my appointment I went to visit my friends who live in the next city over.  They had some baby things they were getting rid of and we wanted to catch up over lunch.  They made me feel so much better about my lack of weight gain, they convinced me of what I already thought…it won’t do the baby or myself any good to spend my time being a couch potato and eating junk food.  I am not going to worry about anything except eating well and eating until I am full.  I left that day feeling so much better than I did after leaving my doctor’s appointment.  Friday I spent the entire day in bed sleeping and watching movies (actually the same movie repeated 3 times since I kept sleeping through it).  Saturday I took my temperature and I had a slight fever, the doctor recommended just drinking lots of water and taking a Tylenol.  My wonderful husband took care of me all day!  I woke up a lot over the night to empty my nose and to chug water.  Today I spent most of the morning and afternoon sleeping; giving Adam the opportunity to watch all the movies I really don’t want to see.  Unfortunately didn’t eat much at all the past few days which is going to look bad the next time I step on the scale…but like I said I am not going to stress over it.

Saturday I was supposed to go back to HK for my RH- shot, they didn’t want to give it to me on Tuesday without first checking my blood to make sure that my body wasn’t already creating the antibodies I need.  Adam and I were going to make a day out of it, have a nice lunch in HK and head to IKEA to pick out some more things for baby.  Sunday the plan was to begin making piles and organizing for the movers.  Nothing got done this weekend which means this illness needs to disappear overnight so I can run to the Doctor on Monday or Tuesday and be at the lease signing on Wednesday and be ready for the movers by Friday. 

Bath Fail

Well after my trip to Hong Kong, I planned on taking a bath for the first time in our new apartment…hot water here I come!!!!!  I had been looking forward to this ever since we picked our apartment and I saw that it had both a shower and a tub.  I had been dreaming of that weightless feeling I had at the pool and in the ocean in Bali (it was too cold in Australia).  I was excited for the bit of pampering you get from soaking in a tub since I can no longer get massages, hair washes, mani’s, pedi’s because the Chinese people won’t touch you when you are pregnant, and the belly is too big to hide.  I was imagining listening to my music while soaking my swollen feet and aching back.

When I got home I started filling the tub and my wonderful husband put one of the space heaters in the bathroom (which is usually miserable because it gets super cold).  The water pressure was very low because well, we live in China and you can have hot water and great water pressure at the same time.  Since it is a tub I like to use sweltering water and cool it off as needed.  It took an hour to fill the tub half way but I figured I would soak while waiting for the tub to fill, never mind the fact that I am now the size of a whale and would probably raise the water level enough just by getting in. 

I took off my clothes and dipped my toes in…freezing water.  There isn’t enough hot water to fill the tub and since it took so long the hot water that was in the tub had cooled off.  Oh well, at least my shower is hot! 

Moving…Again…For the last time (well until I move to Hong Kong and then there is the move back to North Carolina…but let me have this one for a little while)

So it’s been 5 days since M-day.  Friday was totally crazy, but in an expected “we live in China things usually are crazy” kind of way.  We spent Thursday Night at our new apartment complete with hot showers and nastiness all over the floors (I honestly can’t figure out what the idea of “clean” is in China…the dirt was gone but there was a film over everything).  Friday morning I left with Adam to meet the movers while Adam went to work.  When I got to our building both elevators were stuck on the 4^th floor.  I waited for 10 min…wondering what to do.  Normally I could walk up the stairs but what were the movers going to do…we lived on the 24^th floor!  Next normal thought that came to mind is just call maintenance…easier said than done when your Chinese has basically disappeared in pregnancy.  I hoped that the lady waiting with me would go find someone but it seemed like she really truly thought that the elevator would come.  I knew Adam was in the car without anyone who could understand our problem in English and translate it to the maintenance worker.  I decided it doesn’t hurt to try so I moseyed on over to the management office and with my broken Chinese, some pretty clever sound effects and some skillful acting I explained to the guard what the problem was and they came and fixed it within 10 min! 
The movers came an hour early…interrupting my morning nap (yes I nap at 8:30 in the morning).  Two out of four of them spoke English, one was totally fluent.  I explained what needed to be done then I watched…I sat there and watched.  Every once and a while I would wonder around and get in the way, I know this sounds awful but it is really hard watching someone else do work for you!  I decided to lock myself in the bedroom and watch tv.  Adam came at lunch time and went to the management office with the head mover to get a letter saying that they weren’t stealing our stuff.  The management closes for 2.5 hours for lunch so they were unable to get the note until Adam bribed the secretary. 

The movers took 3 trips in their van to get our stuff from the old apartment to the new one.  Our driver took a couple trips with stuff and Adam met with the landlords friend (who handles the apartment stuff).  The landlord’s friend didn’t seem to care that we hadn’t cleaned (I was going to have the cleaner come after we left but I had her come to our new place instead), he didn’t notice that we had broken the bed, or that we had holes in the wall from pictures we hung.  He just came signed the papers, collected the money and stole the second hot water heater…the one the landlord didn’t know about.
Saturday, Adam and I organized the bedroom, the living room and the kitchen.  Sunday we finished those rooms and took it easy.  Monday I organized the baby’s room and took tags off the baby clothes (I know you aren’t supposed to do that until the baby is born so things can be exchanged if the baby is small or big…but the stuff I got here can’t be exchanged and nothing we received for Christmas can be exchanged without mailing it back to the US for way more than it’s worth).  All we need now is the crib I am borrowing from a friend, a couple odds and ends from IKEA, and the few things I am buying off another friend. 

Next little by little I plan on tackling the guest room (or for now the catch all room). 

Record Breaking Weight Gain!!!!

I was worried about this appointment because since my last appointment I was sick and didn’t really eat much, then we were packing, moving and unpacking…even having movers it’s a big job!  I figured I would have more disappointing news from the scale.  However I tipped the scale at 151 lb’s meaning I gained over 6 lb’s in 2 weeks and I am up 11 lb’s from my pre-pregnancy weight.  I felt like my face has been filling out and my legs are beginning to retain water, but I thought if I couldn’t gain in Australia with all the cupcakes then what could I do.  The problem is I guess both the baby and I can’t gain at the same time…his weight is now in the 30^th percentile, when he had been in the 50^th most of the time.  The doctor said it is normal to have some small gains and some big gains. 

Little Zachary still likes to keep his hands in front of his face,

the doctor did everything he could to move his arm and before he could snap the picture it was back in front of his face.  I guess my little one won’t be a swaddled baby.  I did get a few views of his face while the doctor was shaking and punching my belly.  I think he looks a little like Adam, he has Adam’s nose at least. 
My next appointment is in 2 weeks and I have to have another blood test to check if I need to get the next round of RH- antibodies.  I figure if I keep gaining 6 lb’s between appointments I will be all caught up with the recommended gain on my due date. 

30 Weeks

I feel like this might be the first belly shot where I look healthy

OK…so what happened to having plenty of time?!?  I know I technically have 8-12 weeks (God willing) but because of our situation I only have 6 weeks before I move to HK.

This week was a total blur…between moving, a trip to HK, and settling into the new place this week went by super fast. 

The newest pregnancy things to report are my successful RH- shot, and the unreal amount of movement coming from my belly.  It seems that Zachary enjoys getting his feet into my hip bones and getting his arms caught in the side I am trying to sleep on.  Haha…I still love his movements; however they are getting to be painful!  I will have to check into soccer and karate classes for infants.

I have also lost that second trimester burst of energy, at first I thought it was my cold and the fact that it was super cold in the apartment but it’s not.  I really feel pregnant now, and I can’t deny the belly which seems to have a mind of its own.  My clumsiness is out of control, and I don’t bother pick things up anymore…I just wait for Adam to come home.  With my baby brain I don’t know how I get anything done and if it wasn’t for our very concerned driver who knows if I would ever get home.  I honestly don’t know what is real or not anymore…in fact while we were moving I thought that someone broke into our apartment left their comb on the sofa and stole our wireless router…sounds crazy huh?  Well not totally crazy, in the Chinese culture it isn’t good to burn your bridges and because we were moving out of our apartment early I figured he was sending us a message, a I am mad at you message, not anything to do with wanting our stuff…he could have taken Adam’s laptop or many other things we had laying around.  Meanwhile when Adam got there, after the packers were finished I looked for that comb to explain to him my theory, couldn’t find it (I even checked the trash).  All we had was no router boxes full of who knows what, and an empty router box.  The next day we found the router all packed…I think I had dreamed the whole comb, no router thing before the packers got there.  Now I triple check everything, I don’t leave the apartment without the keys and my phone in my hand, then I stare at it the whole way to the car…just to make sure.

******Cool Week 30 Fact: fingernails are growing!!!!

How To Ruin Pasta:

First you need to be pregnant and have baby brain mixed with the already easily distracted Lindsay brain.  Next you need something shiny…in my case it was shiny red Christmas ornaments.  Then let everything fall into place!
Tonight I made my “Adam is working late go to meal” of pasta…it’s quick and easy and doesn’t require me to be in the freezing cold kitchen for very long.  Today I had been trying to get things ready so that we have a smooth and easy move.  I put away all the Christmas stuff and organized drawers, getting rid of things we really don’t need.  I have also been burning DVD’s (Adam found a way to download movies and the current versions of TV shows…and since I have a burner my job is to burn them).  So basically I had a few different things going on today, but not too much to handle, especially since I need to break every half hour. 

After I put the pasta in the pot I noticed the very last Christmas decoration out…my vase full of red Christmas balls.  I figured I could put them away before the pasta was finished, but after I finished that the DVD I was burning finished so I started the next one (and since this seems to be my job now I try to make it look professional), then I saw the “Z” I painted for my son and took that to the pile of baby things (which always distracts me).  After playing around with the pile (because the pile needs to show off how cute everything is) I saw my empty water bottles and decided to fill them up before I got into bed and forgot.  A few activities later I realized I was hungry and “OOPS!” I remembered the stove.  The funny thing is a couple times I heard strange noises in the kitchen…I just chocked it off to being noises of China…there are always noises in China!

What I saw in the kitchen was a pot with barely any water left in it and spaghetti that was left in one gynormous clump.  I decided to try again and I made myself stay in the kitchen until the pasta was cooked. 

ME: “Can I at least drink water”, NURSE: “No, we give you glucose to drink”

Yesterday I had my doctor’s appointment.  The plan was to head to HK on Monday eat a really big late dinner before my fasting had to start then take a nice warm bath and get a good night sleep in a hotel room with heating.  I planned on waking up right before my appointment since I picked a hotel 3 stops away on the subway.  I figured the doctor would be pleased at my obvious weight gain, not only is my belly expanding every second but my face is starting to fill back out and lately everyone has commented that I looked much better than the last time they saw me.  I was feeling like Lindsay again and I eat nonstop all day long!  I knew that the glucose test wouldn’t be fun but I was excited to see pictures of my little man. 

You can see his face!!!!

Well throw in some baby brain mixed with high expectations, goodbye to a good friend and a newly renovated hotel and you get what I got!

I was about to cross the border with a big empty suitcase to pick up the rest of our Christmas gifts (with the help from my friend Jodie…no I wasn’t about to lift or do anything I shouldn’t!) when I realized that I forgot my passport.  My passport was 2 hours away back in my apartment.  Rather than going back and forth I sent the driver and he picked up Adam who gave him my passport and he drove it back to me.  In the meantime I enjoyed a wonderful dinner with Jodie and her family.  I got to HK 4 hours later than expected at about 11:00 pm.  Since they upgraded me to a renovated room with a king sized bed (I can’t really complain) I didn’t have a bath tub, but I did have a spa shower…complete with hot water and more pressure than a water gun.  I stayed up late putting pictures on facebook, but I still had a wonderful sleep.  I woke up starving and thirsty.  I normally drink 5 or 6 bottles of water each day!  I barely made it to the doctor without passing out.  The stuffy train station didn’t help.  I called Adam and told him if I stopped talking that he should call the doctor and tell him to come find me on the ground in the station.  I made it, had my first blood test and drank the most disgusting stuff ever!  It took me almost 20 min to finish the glass full.  I had my appointment right after the test and the baby is growing really well and everything looks good.  However the doctor was concerned that I had only gained 2 lb’s since my last appointment…2 lb’s I could have sworn I gained at least 5.  I took my next two blood tests and went shopping for another pair of maternity pants.  Normally I would be excited to go down a size without even trying but I was not happy that after my disappointing weight gain I had to go down a pants size…I figured that my jeans were loose because I didn’t have a dryer to shrink them back.  I left feeling totally discouraged and completely out of control of the situation.  I ate a very fatty lunch and picked up some junk food from the grocery store before meeting Jodie who was meeting to help me carry the gifts across the border. 

Then I had to say my last goodbye (this was number 4 I think) to Jodie who would no longer be close enough for a weekend visit.  I am happy for her being able to move back to Australia; however the selfishness in me is going to hate having her so far away.  I have had to say goodbye to 2 great friends in the past month, and I have decided that people need to start checking with me before they let their husbands accept a new job.

Last night I got home at 9:00 and after looking through our Christmas gifts (nothing cheers up a girl like cute baby things and decent food) and updating my parents on the doctors apt I went straight to sleep.  Today I plan on being a major couch potato and eating cookies and cheese doodles. 

26-28 Weeks

I have to sit on the floor to put on shoes then I stand up like a toddler (hands on floor, stick butt up and slowly move up while hanging on to whatever or whoever is near me)

Week 26 and 27 were wonderful in Australia…I can’t imagine a better trip for a pregnant lady.  It was a food paradise, especially since I am now eating a full portion of food.  The challenge for me now is that I haven’t tasted food that I have enjoyed in a long time (6 months to be exact) and with all the restaurant choices I had some trouble choosing where we should eat (which Adam insisted I did since I now liked food).  I haven’t had any cravings but the food that is most appetizing to me was hummus and bread.  I would have to say I ordered that as a meal almost once a day.  I ate Thai food, Mexican, Sandwiches, pancakes, doughnuts, cupcakes (from the many cupcake shops they have in Sydney), etc…The only thing we didn’t eat was Chinese food!

Brisbane

Sydney

Melbourne

On Christmas day we sat on the beach…since it was supposed to rain we ran out of the hotel room without sunscreen, however we had planned on calling Adam’s family then going for lunch about an hour after we got to the beach so I figured it would be OK.  I didn’t realize how insane the sun in Australia is even on a cloudy morning.  We both got burned, but I have some amazingly odd tan lines.  Thanks to my belly I didn’t lay down I sat up on the towel creating a shade on my upper/inner thigh.  Thanks to my growing breasts I have a white area mirroring the shape of my breasts on my belly. 

Speaking of the ladies…I finally bought a bra that fits.  I have been uncomfortable in my bras for about a month.  It is amazing how comfortable the right bra size feels. 

Before I left my doctor gave me some baby aspirin to take before and after my flight to help with blood circulation.  It worked and my legs didn’t swell during the 8 hour flight.  However the sunburn on my legs was pretty bad and swelled because of that, combined with the walking we did in Sydney.  My feet/toes/ankles were double the normal size.

Zachary has been moving with a lot more force lately, in fact I think I am able to tell his moods based on the movements he makes.  On days where I was walking a lot he was very relaxed and hardly moved at all (it doesn’t look good for me that he is only calm when I am moving).  He LOVED the airplane, throughout the whole flight he was twisting and turning and playfully moving (this also doesn’t look good since I was hoping he would sleep some on the 20+ hour flight we will have to take when he is a few months old).  The most interesting feeling this week though was Zachary’s first ever hiccoughs!  He hated them, he was moving as if to say someone help me, get me out of here (I swear he was about to come out of my belly button).  Good thing for Zack that the hiccoughs didn’t last too long.

Week 28 was good too, we didn’t get much relaxation time when we returned since we had to go apartment hunting and unpack.  We also opened some amazing Christmas gifts from our families.  We sent a list of food items and baby items that we either can’t find anywhere around here or is super expensive here.  We have some dinner kits and ranch dressing, and pop tarts to enjoy! I think it was most fun for me opening up the baby stuff, the bottles, the binkies, the boppy, the little toys and clothes…our little boy is going to be such a stud with all these adorable new digs. 

*****Cool Week 26 Fact: He was beginning to get some baby fat (with some help from his mommy who is now eating everything put in front of her!)

*****Cool Week 27 Fact: Zachary is now sleeping and waking at regular intervals.  Which I can tell, he basically moves at the same time each day.

*****Cool Week 28 Fact: I made it to the third trimester!

Our New (hopefully) Apartment

Last week we went apartment hunting for 2 days right after our trip.  On day one our top three apartments were great but going to be a lot of work.  One had a ton of extra furniture and all of it was extra large leaving no floor space for a baby to have tummy time.  Another place was only half furnished and didn’t have any fixtures or appliances…even though the furniture was something I would have actually picked out myself we were worried that it would take a long time to get everything installed (remember our internet?).  The third place was finished brand new but unfurnished.  The landlady spoke a little English and wanted to take me shopping to pick out the furniture (can we say yippee!), however it was surrounded by construction that was covering the entire area with dust.  So we had to decide would the storage area and brand new furniture make up for the fact that we can’t open a window or hang my clothes outside to dry?

The next day we saw 4 more places, we were hoping that one of the 4 would be a no brainer and an easy apartment to move into.  The first three were awful!  They each were only 2 years old but the furniture looked like it came out of the dump.  Then we saw place number 4.  I walked in and the first thing I thought was ahhhh…clean.  My second thought was it looks like a really cute little girls room…what would Adam say.  Adam couldn’t look at this apartment because he had already taken 2 weeks off of work.  The sofa set was beige canvas covered with flowers (in a cute way) and all the other furniture was real wood…painted white.  It isn’t my taste but it was really nice and brand new.  Not only was the furniture brand new but the apartment had never been lived in, the refrigerator was a couple feet taller than the one we have now and there was a spa shower and bath in the master bathroom…all for a lower price than our apartment now. 

The goal was to find something that I would feel comfortable bringing an infant into and a place that had a garden where we could go for a walk and was convenient to grocery stores.  We found it all!!!!!  Now for the negotiations…

Date Night Revisited!

Last night Adam and I went on our first date night in a long time.  We went to the German Restaurant in town.  This restaurant opened during my morning sickness and I haven’t been able to eat anything there besides French Fries…and not really those because of all the smells.  My memory of this restaurant was making it so it was the last place I wanted to go (to be honest all the great restaurants were totally unappetizing).  I guess all I needed was an updated experience.  Adam and I shared Fajitas and a cob salad.  It was an amazing dinner and it totally exceeded my expectations.  The chicken in the salad had no bones in it and they served refried beans and cheese with the fajitas (which is HUGE in China). 

After dinner Adam and I went to a new shop that had opened a while ago that has house wears and some imported food.  As we were on the way to the store we heard people covering rap songs…not just any people…black people!  The audience was mostly parents and grandparents with toddlers.  I think they were there mostly because they had never seen a black person before, meanwhile Adam and I enjoyed some music that we hadn’t heard in a while. 

We concluded our date night by checking out the rumor we heard about the Starbucks that is opening soon.  We figured it was too good to be true but there is a sign and a logo and Starbucks style furniture in the almost finished shop.

Winding Down (Melbourne – January 1-4)

We got to our Hotel in Melbourne late in the afternoon on New Year’s Day.  We went to the harbor area where there was a free entry theme park and lots of restaurants.  Do you see a theme “Free” and “Food” were the words of the trip…which seemed to cancel each other out since food was sooooo expensive.  We spend over double what we would spend at an equivalent restaurant in the States…I will never again complain about prices in America.  If we were taking this trip from NC instead of China I would have bought a loaf of bread and some pb&j to pack for lunches and we would have only had ice water to drink.  However we were coming from a land where even the Italian restaurant is basically Chinese and not the best Chinese.  We were also excited (actually I think Adam was more excited then I was) that I was able to eat a full adult meal without vomiting, gagging or taking 1 bite then leaving the rest because the first bite ruined all food for me.  I had new restaurants to choose from (not ones with memories of the gagging or smells etc… from the past 6 months) and I actually wanted to eat.  Adam mentioned a couple times that he liked watching me enjoy food and he showed me how much he actually liked it by allowing me to stop at overpriced cupcake and ice cream shops whenever my eyes got big.  We probably spend double what we thought we would spend on food this trip but it was worth every penny and if I had to do it again I may have enjoyed even more. 

Back to Melbourne…I think the coolest thing we did here was on Jan. 2^nd.  Adam and I went to a Cricket game.  I thought Cricket was a lot like baseball but neither of us really knew anything about it.  Adam “wiki’d” it as we were sitting in the stands waiting for the game to start and it was still very confusing to us.  I apologize to any Cricket fans out there but we both found the game strange and boring…even though we truly enjoyed the experience.  What happens is each team gets 20 overs, 1 over is 6 at bats.  The same batter will hit until he gets out (which happens if you hit the wicket before the runner gets there or the ball is caught.  The bowler (pitcher) keeps changing for each at bat.  The teams don’t change places until the batting team finishes their 20 overs.  Get it…yeah I still don’t.  This was (I am guessing) the equivalent to a minor league baseball league, but we happened to be in the state (we had to root for the home team) with the best team, they had been the champs for the past 3 years or something like that and they totally creamed the Queensland Team…Go Victoria!!!!

January 3^rd was a holiday and museums and what not were closed so we took a free trolley tour of the city and tried to stay out of the cold wind, and went to a mall.  We took it easy strolled through the city, took some maternity shots at the park and ended the evening by ducking into an arcade.  We saw a Deal or No Deal game and decided to use up some of our coins.  I picked suitcase #11 and won the Jackpot…200 tickets!  Too bad it wasn’t the actual game.  We took a major risk because my last 2 cases (mine and the one left) were the highest (200 tickets) and the lowest (1 ticket).  I stuck with mine and bam…I was the big winner.  We gave our tickets to a little boy who was very happy to be able to pick out some quality junk from the ticket counter.  Did I mention we stopped at Krispy Cream for breakfast…yeah what are the chances our hotel was one block away from a Krispy Cream!

at the cricket match

Ringing in The New Year…on Dec. 31 at 8:00am NC time (Sydney – December 28-January 1)

We arrived in Sydney at 7:30 am (meaning we left our Brisbane hotel at 3:30 am).  The plan was to take a tour of the city at 10:30 and hang out by the harbor and take a ferry to Manly in the afternoon.  However when we got to the hotel I laid down on the bed while Adam took a shower and I fell asleep for 2 hours.  Good thing the tour also went at 2:30.  We stopped for lunch at a deli and took our sandwiches to the steps of a government house.  It was great to be able to sit on the ground (even being pregnant)…it is amazing the things you miss.  After lunch we had some time so we hung out by the harbor watching street performers.  The best thing happened when a contortionist said “I need a helper…you in the blue shirt…yes you behind the pregnant lady” yes it was Adam and yes I got the entire thing on tape…including a little kiss she stole from my husband!  When we get back I plan on sharing the video with EVERYONE…I apologize in advance for the shaky tape, I was laughing non-stop!  I took tons of pictures which will be on the blog soon!

The tour we took was amazing and I totally recommend it to anyone visiting Sydney or who lives in Sydney for that matter.  In fact the reviews on trip advisor were mostly from Sydney residents who had out of town visitors and took the tour for them.  Basically it is a “free” tour, they request that you tip or give a donation to the guide (who doesn’t make money otherwise).  Our guide was amazing and super Australian…she had the blonde beachy look and the fun personality that the stereotypical Australian has.  She had a lot of fun jokes and interesting facts to share with us!  I think one of the best parts (and this was my intention and why we wanted to do this tour first thing) of the tour was it took us past and to a few places we wanted to revisit (including the first of many cupcake shops we went too).  We spent the rest of the afternoon on the harbor eating and people watching.

On the 29^th we went to a wildlife park in the outskirts of Sydney.  There is one right in the city center but we heard this one was better (and it was cheaper).  We were really excited to finally get to see kangaroos and koalas.  There were roos hopping around the whole area and trees with koalas sleeping in them (the look totally fake when sleeping).  We both got to pet a koala (if you know me I am not very comfortable around animals and I think they smell my fear, I especially don’t like birds) the zoo person kept trying to get me to hug the koala but it was all I could do to pet it’s back with one hand.  When we got to the area with the birds I took a step back and was in charge of the camera.  I am thankful to say I got out of there without being pecked or attacked by any birds or stepping in any poop.  I was apprehensive around the animals but it was still a pretty amazing experience.  I am also good at hiding my fear (as I have been to the zoo with kindergarteners and first graders…my class was always the first to finish the bird sanctuary). 

After the park we took a ferry to Manly (another beachy area with great restaurants and a wonderful view).  We got there just in time to see the sun set.  Our dinner was amazing (even though it took me a long time to decide what I really wanted to eat…sounds silly but it is hard to make a decision when you haven’t wanted food for the past 6 months). 

On the 30^th we hung out at the Darling Harbor and took a river cruse tour of Sydney.  Again we ate very well (yes I consider Subway and pizza an amazing meal day). 

FINALLY it was New Years Eve…I had been looking forward to this day for a LONG time.  We decided when we were assigned to China to spend New Years in Sydney.  I was excited to be involved in the first (big) New Year’s celebration in the entire world!  This had also been the hardest day to plan…besides knowing that we were going to spend the day on Bondi Beach.  There were so many options.  We could have taken a river cruse costing between $700 and $1000 a person, we could have gone to dinner on the harbor for about $500 a person or we could celebrate somewhere low key for only $200 a person (I say only sarcastically).  These plans needed to be made at least a month in advance…however a month before our trip I wasn’t able to eat much and I wasn’t sure a trip on a boat would be great for my tummy.  We figured this was a once in a lifetime experience so we wanted to do it well…meaning we had to see the fireworks overlooking the harbor somehow.  After thinking about it (a lot) and spending a lot of time researching on the computer I decided to take a risk.  I figured this is our last time to do something crazy…I mean if it was your first time in NYC for New Years and you knew you may never get to go back you would for sure spend it on the street no matter how miserable it may seem.  I figured we should tough it out, bring a towel, buy a bagged lunch and camp out on the harbor for as long as we needed to.  We got to the harbor at 5:00, but they weren’t letting people in the gates.  Our plan B was to head to North Sydney and watch from the other side, but I was afraid that we would get there and that area would be closed as well.  Plan C was to head to Darling Harbor where we would have a show and fireworks but it wouldn’t be overlooking the Opera House or the Bridge.  Then a crazy old man told us that we could get in the harbor area from the other side.  We took a risk listening to him but it ended up being the best decision!  We found a spot on the ground and took turns changing out of our swim suits and going to the bathroom.  Not 30 min after we sat down (which ended up being 6:00) they had closed the gates and we were trapped in and everyone else was trapped out.  It was amazing how quickly the time went by.  They had fireworks at 9:00 for the kids and then again at midnight.  It was truly the best New Years EVER!  I started the evening thinking it would be one of those experiences you would trade for anything but would never want to do again and looking back we would think we were totally crazy.  This was not one of those experiences…I would gladly do it again, they didn’t allow alcohol on the harbor and had police all over the place so it wasn’t a miserable experience for me at all (I was picturing having beer spilled on me and crazy drunk people knocking into me…the most sober person at the party). 

If you rub his nose you have good luch...if you rub his ___ you get lucky.  Our tour guide thought it was ironic

Can you find me in the crowd of preople waiting for the firworks?

Adam and I at Bondi Beach