Ahhhh good riddence 2014. Don't get me wrong something AMAZING happened last year (ahem Stella Grace), but seriously the rest of the year (although I did a lot of learning) was full of unexpected challenges. I started the year coming to grips with my reality that I wasn't doing well emotionally...I don't know if it was depression or anxiety but I was not me. The challenges we faced with Hunter without ever finding answers and sleeping 3-4 hours every 24 hours if I didn't spend that time googling why my 1 year old wasn't sleeping...because things didn't magically get better when he turned 1. I went to therapy and it was all I needed. She recommended medication but I wanted to try without it and apparently what I needed was someone who would be comfortable listening to me cry and just listen when I told her everything that was going on. She didn't try to tell me what to do...she just talked me through everything that I had held in for the year...everything from how doctors didn't believe that Hunter had a problem and how well meaning people gave me very unwelcome advice and told stories about their perfect children. I apologize to everyone who I have advised on any parenting issue...my new comeback when a friend tells me about a problem is "that sucks...I'm so sorry...can I bring you dinner?" unless they specifically ask me for advice.
As soon I started feeling like myself I took a pregnancy test just in case and much to my surprise it was positive. I always wanted a third but I was totally not ready...we were finally down to two wake up's a night. It didn't take too long for it to settle in and I started being really excited about having a third boy (because I thought that's all I could have).
In April I break my ankle...major wrench in things. I couldn't carry Hunter (the runner). I had dear friends who came to sweap my floor, load my kids in the car, carry Hunter upstairs for nap, bring Zack home from school etc... We watched a lot of movies and the kids did whatever they wanted, but we survived and I learned that it was OK to ask for help...and that people were happy to help.
In May I found out that my third boy was actually a girl (eeek)...but I am a boy mom! It took a trip to Target to pick out an outfit and toy for me to get excited and for Adam to start freaking out (a doll...she doesn't need a doll...we got her a pink ladybug...it's a bug...small steps).
I spent June and July in physical therapy, which I both loved and hated.
In August we started looking into Hunter's developmental delays...and they were much worse than I thought and we still have a lot of questions...a lot of scary words were thrown around and lots of tears shed and broken dreams before I realized that he's not even two and he may be a late bloomer but he is picking thing up left and right. Poor kid has felt sick for his whole life...no wonder he doesn't talk or stack blocks.
In September I started having odd feelings in my heart. My OB sent me to a cardiologist who ran every heart test he could...apparently all issues were pregnancy related and weren't causing any problems. A few weeks later I got a call from my dad that I should probably go to Hickory because my super healthy 95 year old Grandma was in the hospital and everything was failing. In true Alfild fashion her body came back and we went from saying goodbye to trying to figure out how we were going to break it to her that she was actually going to live (when you're 95 and a widow who is basically independent you expect to go to heaven when you're taken to the hospital...and you are ok with it because you had 95 better years than anyone could ever imagine). And again in true Alfild fashion she prayed to leave the earth peacefully in her sleep...and she did just a short time after her body failed her and then proved to everyone that they should not underestimate what an old body can do.
In October I started having regular contractions without a baby (see my other post)...which is ironic because in both of my other labors I never had regular contractions. I didn't know I was in labor when my water broke and Hunter was born.
In November things started looking up. My little star was born and unlike her brothers the timing was perfect logistically and emotionally (after 8 nights of contractions and no baby I was not going to leave the hospital without a baby...what a fun tantrum I would have thrown). Stella was a bright shining light (her name means star) and brought nothing but happiness for the rest of the year (not even tiredness...she is a gooooooood baby...and super cute to boot).
Like I said I learned a lot...and I love how each event made me stronger and better and turned my life in an unexpected direction...but for 2015 I wish for nothing to happen for my family...I want to look back in 15 years and think "wow...what even happened in 2015? That was such a boring year."
