This quote doesn’t apply to Adam or I but it was a sign I saw a beggar in NC holding. It amused me because it was totally honest and it inspired this entry. I am not saying that I haven’t been honest in my stories but I am now ready to tell about my first impressions of Huizhou. I couldn’t type it in the beginning because a) I thought I would cry, b) I knew it would get better and I didn’t want that to be the story people remember or think that I was unhappy and c) I wanted to make sure those feelings are totally gone.
After our train trip from Hong Kong, a driver picked us up to take us to our new home. The weather was overcast and a little rainy (I am one of those people whose mood is affected by the weather). I saw dirty sidewalks, run down shacks and small farms (this is exactly what I was told Huizhou was not). We got to our hotel (which was way out of town) and I hadn’t seen any of the scenes in the pictures Adam showed me. I immediately thought I had made a mistake, and I KNEW there was no why I was going to be happy there, I was hoping we hadn’t totally closed the door to live in Hong Kong. I guess all the things that I should have worried about before we left came at me in the 1 hour trip. I had no worries before we left, I was ready, willing and excited about EVERYTHING!!!! All of a sudden I decided that I was stupid to not have thought this through. I had given up my dream job, a job that had defined me as a person. I moved out of the home I bought on my own, which I always saw as a symbol of my independence and something that proved that I could do it on my own. I left my car, it was in bad shape (melted crayon on the hanging bumper, the tacky antennae that spun when you turned, the clock that didn’t work) but I loved that car…I always said I would buy that car even if I had all the money in the world. Not to mention I don’t have friends or family around and my only friend would have to work a lot. Too much was running through my mind to cry or even to scream. Then we walked into the dark, freezing hotel room and I told Adam I needed a nap. The last thing I could do in that state was sleep so I laid there for 2 hours trying to talk myself into how exciting it was going to be and how ready I was and how I was the one so willing to live in Huizhou verses Hong Kong. I felt like I was shaking inside the whole day as we went out for dinner (where I ordered something that I thought was something else) and walked through the store (where there were dead animals staring at me through the glass in the meat section). Thankfully we got to take a tour of the city and I saw all the scenes that were familiar from Adam’s pictures (I really thought he took pictures of a different city) and the weather was AMAZING. My feelings didn’t go away as quickly as they came and every once and a while over the next month I would have a break down and need to take a “nap”. I can say all this now that our families and friends can see that we look good, we are healthy and they saw for ourselves how happy we truly are in China…to be honest I sometimes I think about how we will move back in a year and 3 months and I get sad. Don’t worry mom we will come home…eventually ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment